Just call me Jiji

…me, just pretending to be me ….now, where did I put that cape??

It’s Grumpy Wednesday!!

I used to complain on Mondays, but now I complain on Wednesdays. 

What has changed? GAME NIGHT! 

 Ron, my hubby “GAMES” on Wednesdays now instead of Mondays.  Once a week he and “the guys” get together and game.  I feel bad for complaining and being grumpy about it, it’s a good outlet for him. He pretty much has been gaming for over 20 years now and he pretty much still games with the much of same friends for most of his life. How can I dismiss such strong friendships and camaraderie? (wait, is that spelled right?). I guess because I feel that he gets to play a lot more than I do. Not only does he get to have a game night once a week with the guys, but he spends a LOT of time playinggames on his computer. It’s one of the first things he does when he wakes up and one of the last things he does before bed (even on his game nights), and then there is a whole lot of “checking something” on the game in between. Meanwhile I get up and begin working immediately (my sister drops my infant niece with me for childcare at 7:30am). Between caring for Kiera and occasionally another child, I try to get things done around the house. I don’t usually get as much done as I’d like, because I have to take frequent breaks due to my Fibro. But even during my frequent and often short breaks I usually manage to try to get something done.  I feel like I am always working (or in pain, or recovering from pain) and there is always more work to do. When do I get to play? When do I ever get to leave the house for my own personal agenda without a kid attached to my hip, for that matter? When do I get to enjoy time with my husband. When do I get to play, and why does he always seem to find time to play even when much more important things need to get done?

WAIT! I want to stress something here. Ron is not the bad guy. He does do a HUGE amount of stuff around the house. He is a huge help! I often feel guilty about how much he has to do to make up for the slack that I just can’t do. BUT, sometimes I feel like he just a big kid who does not know when to prioritize his responsibilities. He will put off certain crucial things to play. His playing on the computer gets me grumpy, but I try and mostly succeed at holding my tongue, unless it is something crucial (which has been happening alot lately, I’ll admit). But it is his game night that really gets me grumpy. Mostly because it occurs in the evening right after work. which is just about the time that I just completely fizzle out. At 5pm, I am completely done. Pain racks my body, exhaustion sets in, I can’t think or concentrate anymore, my patience has worn thin, and I am holding on by a thread waiting out that last hour for the girls to get picked up by their moms, with a demanding, hyperactive, impulsive, 6 year old who is just coming off of his ADHD medication for the day till Ron comes home to rescue me.

In all honesty it isn’t always like this I do occasionally have my good days. However certain times of the year (like wintertime) the good days get fewer and fewer. So game nights really suck right now because on game nights, Ron leaves for work in the morning and doesn’t come home till after midnight.

 Just as a clarification, game night with the boys is not a night out playing poker, it’s roll-playing games (RPG), you know, like Dungeons & Dragons. That’s how I clarify it to my non-geek friends anyway. Not that there is anything wrong with being a geek. Ron is a big ol’ geek, and I love him for that. I happen to like geeks,  a lot.  

I like this definition from Wikipedia: A person who has chosen concentration rather than conformity; one who passionately pursues skill (especially technical skill) and imagination, not mainstream social acceptance. 

Now, games like D & D make many people (non-geeks) think of a bunch of 13 year adolescent boys sitting around throwing dice and casting spells and battling imaginary wizards and gnomes or something like that, at least that used to be my take on it, before Ron. Although there is still a part of me that still sometimes thinks it is a game for adolescent boys (and girls), I have learned to respect it more. While I haven’t actually participated in a game myself, nor do I ever think I want to, I have sat in on a few games or at least sat near a few games. It is very interesting to listen to all the imaginative storytelling that comes out of it, it is very strategic, and quite intelligent. That is partly why I could never play – I would never be able to wrap my mind around all of it. It takes a certain kind of intelligence to play these games. I think they bring out great imagination and passion in the people that play them. I actually kinda admire that.  Now, with all that said, I still get grumpy about his “game night”.

Game night on Mondays made me grumpy because Mondays for me, in general are just bad. It’s the start of my week and either I just over did it on the weekend because that is the only time I can really get things done and I am having a bad Fibro flare-up as a result or I was able to take it easy over the weekend but now I have to get not just me but everyone else back to a normal weekday schedule.  Mondays also made me grumpy because at least once a month I would ask Ron to skip the game so we could attend the CHADD parent support group and lecture which takes place every 3rd Monday of the month. He would get annoyed at me anytime I asked him to skip his one night out with the guys. Which in turn not just made me grumpy because I knew what his response was going to be but it also pissed me off. This is our child we are talking about, we go to this meeting for him and for us as a family, besides it’s just once a month. I usually get some grumbling about how he is expected and people rely on him to be there blah, blah, blah… So!? I am relying on you too. To do the right thing for our family. We NEED this, for us, for our ADHD son, for our family. Priorities, remember?!?!?   Then there are the holidays and other random events that may make him miss a game or two. Oh, I don’t know like going to Disney and family birthdays and get together over the holidays, etc.

So for 2009 after missing over a month of game nights in a row due to all the fore mentioned, he asked the guys to change game night to Wednesdays. This way, no arguments about choosing to play a game over doing something important for our family. And in general Wednesdays are a better day/night for me than the dreaded Monday.

Great compromise right? Well it should be. And hopefully it will be, but not today. Today is GRUMPY WEDNESDAY!   

…awww  c’mon it is below freezing here in New York, do you know how much I am hurting right now? My bones feel like they are about to shatter, and I am soo exhausted right now. It is going to be a very loooong night tonight. And I am grumpy about it.


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