Bright Side of the Day.
The Bright Side of the Day is that I am now finally, FINALLY alone, by myself with my tears and my computer.
I am feeling like an awful, awful mother right now. I know I try my best and I do my best. But I certainly am not feeling my best.
Right now all I want is a vacation. A vacation away from my life, my life as a mother and even as a wife (if only because my duties as a wife include being ‘The Mom”). I wouldn’t have to go anywhere special. I just want to go away. To a place where I dont want to stick my kid in a straight jacket with a gag over his mouth and tie him to a chair. Just so he will stop touching everything within 2 feet of him, so he wont get a hold of the most innocent of household objects and turn them into instruments of mass destruction, so he won’t jack-rabbit out the front door every time the urge comes to mind, so I don’t have to listen to him talking and talking, yelling and yelping, calling out, whining, begging, nagging, and talking some more just to make noise, so I don’t have to keep up and follow every move he makes while he jumps from one activity to the next within 5 minutes of starting the first because that’s how quickly he is bored, so I don’t have to constantly be on top of everything and stay ahead of every possible scenerio that could come up, so I can breathe and so he can breathe without either of us breathing down each others necks, so I can get what’s on MY agenda accomplished whether it be working with my photos, my blog, or actually cleaning my house to the point where I can be proud of it rather than depressed by it, so I don’t have to constantly explain or apologize for his actions, so I don’t always feel as if I’ve been beaten with a bat for the hundredth time today, so there is no yelling – not his or mine, so I can sleep soundly without worrying about what’s coming next. So I can just cry.
So, Today’s ‘Bright Side of the Day” is my very very brief 2to 3 hour vacation from being Leonsmom.
Whom I kidding….
…………….no one not even me. I feel awful.