Buzz, buzz, buzz, zzzzzzzz
2:20am and I am not sleeping. Not sleeping because my mind is buzzing with thoughts. I know I am tired because I can’t stick to just one thought. I just keep buzzing from one to another to another and back.
First I buzz around the thought that this splint on my ankle and the crutches are slowing me down way too much and I wonder how bad would it be if I just ditched them tomorrow and see how the fool feels with out them
Next I buzz around how sad it is that I was with out a car for about three weeks and know that I have a working car again I can’t drive it because it just had to be the right foot that stepped in the hole and went CRACK as I twisted it.
Then I buzz around the thought, well at least the bright side of me getting hurt is that Ron finally filled the sink hole in the yard so no one ELSE gets hurt. And at least it’s done in time for the big BBQ coming up in 3 weeks.
I buzz over to how while there is never a good time to sprain an ankle, this week is probably the worst because of all I have to do. Luckily it rained and field day had to be rescheduled, Ron would have had to call in sick or something so Leon didn’t miss out on it. The paranoia of him bolting from the school is on everyones mind. Tommorow is the school BBQ and I was supposed to volunteer but had to cancel and the day after tomorrow is a field trip to a petting zoo that Leon is so looking forward too. I am the parent chaparone supposedly. the crutches in a petting zoo/farm will be tough.
I then buzz over to what’s really bugging me, my procrastination problem. I have this form to fill out, actually two forms one for our psycologist and one for the school. Both asking questions about Leon and his behavior and it’s effects, etc. I keep putting it off because I don’t want to write something that maybe hurtful to him. I know there aren’t any wrong answers but this whole assesment thing is scutinizing every aspect of him, through tests and observations and interviews with teachers and such, and I know that my input is probably the most important piece of the puzzle, being that I am the one who spends the most over all time with him, but what if I say something damaging. I try to see my son in the best possible light at all times and here they want me to point out all the flaws so they can inspect him. Yes I know it is meant to get him the help he needs in the end but it doesn’t mean I like it.
Then I buzz back to this damn splint. What if I just rtake it off right now?????????