Just call me Jiji

…me, just pretending to be me ….now, where did I put that cape??

Archive for the tag “facebook”

…and they’ll tell two friends…

Leon is very proud of himself, as well he should be. The “Leon’s Locks for St Jude Kids” fundraiser that he is hosting online, may have had a slow start but as of today it is just $5 shy of $700.

Leon is still determined and confident that he will reach his final goal of $5000.

We have succeeded thus far by word of mouth and reaching out to our family and friends via social networks like Facebook, Twitter, & Pintrest; and of course via his dedicated webpage on this blog.

We’ve reached out to everyone we know personally and have bid our contacts to further spread Leon’s message.

Our most successful venue thus far has been by way of Facebook. We’ve posted this link, at least once a week (if not more), and asked that people like it and share it on their own walls. Additionally we have also created a Facebook event for this fundraiser as well. The hope is that everyone invited will then invite as many people as they are comfortable with from their own contacts, in an effort to spread the word even further. And then of course their contacts will do the same, and so on, and so on, and so on.

Remember  when Heather Locklear told 2 friends and they told 2 friends and so on and so on…?

Hey you could be like Heather too! Just follow this link to our Online Facebook Event page and let us know you are in, then invite two friends (or more) to then invite two more friends……

…and so on and so on and so on…

That would actually go a very long way in helping us to get the word out and hopefully get the donations to reach goal.

Thank you for your support!


Happy Birthday to ME!!

I celebrated my birthday this week, and despite my grumblings about the weather, it was very nice!!

I’d like to thank all the people who made my birthday special, and in case you don’t know who you are:

~ my Face Book friends, some of which I see on a regular basis and some I haven’t seen in many, many years or even ever met before (Lynn 🙂 ) for all your  well wishes from around the world.

~ well wishers who emailed, phoned, or sent cards, from NY, AZ, TX, and Germany 

~ friends and family baring gifts, from CD’s, DVD’s, tickets for two to a show in Manhattan, orchids, balloons, a family night at home, a fun – albeit VERY LOUD  night out – with both family and friends, CASH (thanks Mom), two tickets to see the cast of GLEE in concert, to being made Queen for the Day by my precious son, Leon.  I gotta say I really did get a kick outta Leon answering everything I said with “Yes, my Queen” or “As you wish, my Queen”  😉

I am one of those people who loves celebrating birthdays; especially my own. And definitely not because I am enjoying the aging processes; but because I am enjoying the living process.

Yes, yes, I know I’ve been grumbling a lot lately about how difficult it has been for me of late, living with FMS. HOWEVER, that is just what is at the surface of my life at this time. But beneath that layer of unfortunate… crap; lies many other layers of my life.

My ever-growing and never ending love life with my husband; the joy, wonder and pride  of watching my son grow and become; my sisterhood and friendships with friends – new and old; my ever-changing, ever maturing relationships with my family near and far, whether blood-related or bond-related; my accomplishments and achievements as a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a woman; life lessons I have learned and passed on; events and experiences I have yet to encounter; these are all layers of my life. These are the things worth celebrating!   

Happy Birthday to ME!!!    

A Message from Santa


Dear Jill,

Hello from the North Pole. I bet you are surprised to be hearing from me, here, on your blog. I hope you don’t mind me posting this note on your blog, but I wanted to make sure that your son Leon get’s my message. And who better to trust with such an important task then his own mother?  You must be extremely proud of him. He has come such a long way. I’ve been keeping my eye on him and I have to say Mrs. Claus and I are very proud of him too. Not only was his report card filled with 3’s and 4’s but I heard from my elves today, that he just won 1st place in the category of photography for his school in the PTA Reflections Contest. I hope he saves the Target gift card he won for something really wonderful. 

He is maturing very well and becoming such a responsible young boy. I really enjoy seeing how well he does his homework right after school. I would urge him to slow down a bit though, it is important to take time and work carefully when doing school work. I have noticed some improvement in his handwriting too! There is more work to be done, but I have every confidence in him. I’ve seen him do great things.

He is taking after you artistically, isn’t he? The combination of his wonderful imagination and the talent he is showing  when he draws make for some beautiful and creative artwork. I especially like the winter scene he drew, with me in my sleigh sailing through the sky. That one is by far the best work of art I have seen him do so far. You really should add it to the art gallery in your livingroom if he will allow you to. 

He also has the potential to be a great musician too, if only he would practice his instruments. He seems to be doing very well in orchestra with his cello, according to his teacher, just  imagine how good he would be if he actually practiced, I do hope you will urge him to practice! And not just his cello but also the guitar too. Did you know he wrote me a letter asking for a piano keyboard AND an electric guitar, along with some Lego and an Xbox? There is only so much I can do. Between you and me I think the electric guitar should wait a bit. I’d like to see him practice the instruments he is already learning more often and on a regular basis before I get him the electric guitar. Please tell him I said so.

He will be getting at least one thing he asked for in his letter under the tree, on Christmas morning as well as a few other things that the elves and I have overheard him talking about. And I will admit that we do check out his Universal Wishlist on Amazon regularly. What a smart thing to do. Kudos to you Jill, for making things a bit easier for folks.

There is something else I have noticed about Leon lately and I am very glad to see it. I see him being even more caring and generous with others and in life, than he has been in the past. It is truly wonderful to see Leon getting into the true spirit of Christmas. As you know, Christmas is not about getting presents, it is instead about giving, just as God gave us his son, Jesus Christ.

Leon has a lot to give this world and he is off to a wonderful start.

The message I would like you to pass on to him is in this link, I was able to record a video just  for him through my portable North Pole, please have him watch it; 


And don’t you worry Jill, I haven’t forgotten about you either. I received your letter too. It was very unique of you to write your letter to me on your blog, although in this new age of technology it isn’t surprising, you wouldn’t believe all the tweets I get, and don’t get me started on all the “Dear Santa” Facebook status stuff.

Regarding the wishlist in your letter, I am not so sure I can do anything about the time thing, you might want to try Father Time, but I don’t think he takes requests. All I have to offer you is advice; if you want more time in the day to have to yourself , you are going to have to make it. Try not to be so accommodating. It really is okay to say no every once in a while and take care of yourself first.

The will-power to continue to lose weight is already within you, so I will work on sending the soft-serve calorie-free, fat-free ice-cream your way. I’ll have to remind the elves to pick up some dry ice, before we depart the North Pole on Friday.  But incase we can’t get Jack Frost to share, rest assured you will find a gift under the tree from Santa. Afterall while looking under Leon’s name for his wishlist on Amazon.com, I looked up your name, and Ron’s too.

As far as the last thing on your list in your letter to me, that too, is something you already have. God has provided you with the perfect family just for you. Just as he made Ron for you; he made you for Ron. And then he answered your prayers and gave you Leon.  Praise God always and anything you could ever need will be yours!

Jesus is the Reason for the Season



P.S. I actually prefer Kahlua and cream with my cookies but I don’t drink and fly, so skim milk will be just fine. 

Are you a fan?

In an effort to create more traffic on my blog(s) I set up a Fan page on Facebook .

Kinda like a neighbor request on Farmville or Cafe World but slightly more desperate, don’t you think?

So now that you are here, I am wondering, are you a fan? What do you think of my blog?

Comment please! And Comment often!

Just think of it as collecting eggs from your chickens

Blogging it out!! (Part 1)

While it would be so much easier to just block it out, that is just simply not an option here. So I am blogging it out instead.

I need to release this, …this, …this panic, stress, fear, pain, anger, desperation, and a bunch of other words I just can’t think of right now.

I haven’t posted in a while (3 weeks have past) because it’s just too exhausting to rehash everything.  I’d like to be able to at least alternate between the happy events and the difficult times on here but lately the difficult times just seem to over shadow the happy. But isn’t that just always the way it is, it’s the bad and the ugly that weigh heavily on our minds and the good that just floats on by. In an effort to take the weight off I am dumping it all, right  here, right now. ALL OF IT!!

Leon’s behavior just seems to get worse with each passing day. Every week it is something new. And I just can’t figure out what is going on. In a previous post; The Dreaded Phone Call I told the story of Leon “stabbing’ his OT in the hand with a pencil. That occurred on Monday 4/20/09,  and even though that was 3 weeks ago, story now continues from there.

Tue. 4/21– Bring Leon to the bus stop and have an anxiety attack triggered by the fact that Leon told his bus mates that he was grounded and when they asked what he did he started to say “I stabbed the teacher” before I pulled him away and reminded him NOT to tell people that, it was no one’s buisness but ours! (oh and anyone that reads this blog) I just didn’t want the kids at school thinking of him as that kid that stabbed the teacher with a pencil.   – I also decided to start up Leon’s daily progress journal again ( a notebook that goes back and forth between his teacher and I)

Wed. 4/22 –  Leon comes home with a 2 page entry in his journal, these are the highlights:

Leon did not want to work this morning

Leon cut up his papers so he couldn’t glue them back together

Leon rushed his coloring, scribbling all over with one color

Leon proceeded to make noises and fool around w/ his neighbors

Leon blew his second chance with the papers by doing the first page and crossing out the rest

Leon put glue stick all over the floor

The principle came to speak with Leon

Leon ate lunch in the principles office and completed his work there

Leon decided to push his desk to another spot during math.when told to move it back (to his spot), he moved it all the way to the back of the room. When Mrs. D looked at him he wisely said “Well you told me to move it back!”

Leon refused to sit when Mrs. D moved his seat to the correct spot, instead he decided to lean on it and dance

Leon tripped a girl (D) while packing up in the coat room, then he walked to the center of the room and threw his money. each time Mrs D tried to stop him he would walk away and throw something else.

Leon was very disruptive and defiant, unfortunately they were unable to complete their work as a class.

After reading all this when he got home from school I felt some major consequences were in order. We decided that he would lose his DS privileges for the rest of the month – I also took this opportunity to put my “earning DS time plan” into effect.

I am pretty proud of this plan. It entales earning tokens for certain tasks, the tasks include cleaning his room (reinforcing the “No DSifyourroomis a mess” rule ,  staying in his seat until his meal is complete (something we’ve been working on for a loooong time – he hops around and gets up at least a dozen times before a meal is through – arrrrgh), emptying his collection basket (a basket of all of the things that I find laying about the house instead of away where they belong), making his bed (which actually means clearing it of all the books that get dumped on there each morning when he wakes up before we do). For each completed task he gets a round magnetic token which equals 10 minutes of time for use on his DS or other computer game. Another rule is that in order to use his earned time he must have 30 or more minutes saved up AND his room must be clean (remember, “No DS if the Room is a Mess!”) …I have to say I looove this plan!! It has been working well and Leon actually enjoys it and seems to have a sense of pride over earning the tokens.

Okay, so in addition to his losing his DS and having to start ‘the plan’, I just could not see letting him go out and enjoying himself as if nothing had happened at a birthday party after such bad behavior so I would not let him go to Mac’s Bday party. (SORRY MAC!!! and Heath!!) He was devastated, I hated doing it because both Mac and her family are very important to me. But I just could not do it! Leon became very defiant and even tried to run out to the car so I could not leave without him ( I planned to go anyway as they are close friends) I had to physically pick him up and put him in his room. In defiance he refused to take his coat off swearing that he was not moving from this spot and when daddy got home he was going to get in the car and go with me! He stubbornly stood his ground and refused to move from his spot in his doorway. he stood in the same exact spot for a good 30 to 40 minutes while I waited for Ron to get home from work so I could leave Leon. Anytime I would look in on him he would be in the same spot and say”I’m still here, I’m not moving”. When Ron pulled into the driveway I went to reassure Leon of my love and planted a kiss on his forehead. That’s when I smelt it. I looked at him and asked “Did you poop your pants?”  …yup he pooped! So I told Ron to take care of it and I left. Not to long after that Ron put Leon to bed and got on the phone with a friend, during the call Leon interrupted several times, and Ron told him to stay in bed, after too many interruptions Ron went to speak to him only to find out he pooped his pants again……

Thur. 4/23– There was a pushing incident in gym but the rest of the day went well. ….it went well that is until he got home. I wasn’t home. Ron was. I had to work a consignment sale for a few days so Ron took that day off to help me. He got Leon off the bus and began the homework battle, something that I am secretly happy about this, maybe he appreciates what I go through on a daily basis with Leon now. That was followed by Karate. Ron as usual had no trouble getting him to go, but that did not mean it was trouble free. Leon managed to find a safety pin  in Ron’s car. He bent it into a ‘M’ shape to lace around his fingers and then took it into the class with him. Luckily the Sensai saw it and took it away but not before finding out that Leon’s plan was to lace it around his fingers, point sticking out palm side so he could high five someone with it. Okay I have to say it WTF!! What the hell am I going to do with this child?????????

Fri 4/24 – I did not deal with Leon at all this day, I was out working the consignment all day and night, I saw him briefly in he morning and kissed him at night as he slept – my angel. That’s not to say my day wasn’t anxiety ridden given the week we just had.

Mon 4/27 – and the 4 days that followed were relatively mild in comparison to the prevous week, even though the daily journal did report some refusal to work, disruptive behavior, calling out, tattling, and excessive energy (read; constantly on the go). At least there were no phone calls.

Sun5/3– Leon had an appointment with his Pediatrician to discuss his escalating behavioral issues and aggressiveness, along with some possible treatment options. The doctor and I discussed whether or not he was an anxious child, to which I would have to say yes. Leon is hyper-sensitive and often quite anxious about things, he gets apprehensive about certain movies (we are talking Disney movies) where if he is kept in suspense and suspects it might be scary he has to shut it off or leave the theatre, seemingly simple rides scare him yet others of equal level can be fine, certain noises worry him, he’s afraid of the dark, he gets very very anxious over the possibility of failing at something therefore refuses to try and that includes school work. So we discussed medication and trying him on a mood stabilizer. The question now was if he should stop the stimulant and just take the mood stabilizer or should he take both at the same time. Being that both Ron and I had been against meds to begin with, before we even came around to agreeing to him taking anything, I agreed with the doc that we should try just the mood stabilizer and reintroduce the stimulant if necessary.  Meanwhile being that I have no choice but to go to the doc appointments alone, I still had to discuss it all with Ron. So while I got a prescription, it was not actually filled till the next day.

Mon 5/4– Ron agreed to the medication plan and we had the script filled for use beginning on the next day. Meanwhile at school Leon’s day was full of energy, calling out , very talkative, and disruptive.  ….basically, the usual. When Leon got off the bus he seemed very excited about something. He ran right up to me yelling “I’m a girl, I’m a girl, Look at me I look like a girl” As he gets closer I realize he has something all over his face. It’s blue marker. Marker that he used as lipstick, eyeshadow, and a dot on each ear for earrings. He proudly holds out his hands to show me the pink marker nail polish on his fingers. I asked him what happened? He said “I colored my face and hands to look like a girl, don’t I look like a girl?” , “Why do you want to look like a girl?”,I ask. He says “Because I want to be a girl”. I ask, “Why do you want to be a girl?”, He answers “Because mommy, I don’t want to be me!”, “I don’t like being me, I am bad and I always get in trouble””So I want to be a girl”        …….did you hear that???? That was the sound of my heart breaking!!!! My poor poor little boy! We sat down together on the floor, him in my lap with my arms wrapped tightly around him, while I told him how sad I would be if he were anyone other than my child. That he was just perfect being not so perfect. That he was my superstar, and that he was just fine the way he is. I assured him of my love and squeezed him sooo tight, until he said “okay moooom, can you let me go now so I can go clean my room to earn minutes for my DS?”, “Go right ahead Leon, go clean your room if you want”  …{click, Whhhaaaa!} That was the sound of me locking myself in my room and crying my eyes out. I don’t think I ever fell asleep that night or the next few for that matter either. So much weighing on my mind! SO MUCH WEIGHING ON MY POOR LITTLE BOY’S MIND!!! Why Lord? Why? Why must my child go through this? Why at age six do things need to be this difficult on him? Why isn’t there a clear, cut and dry answer on how I can help him? How can I take this pain away? I bleed for him, I feel his pain, I felt his pain…. When I was a child (granted older than six at the time) but a child none the less I felt this pain, only it was my own. It was pain that I had carried with me through out my life …that is until I met Ron and found new hope. Ron allowed me to see myself through his eyes and the pain was lifted. It took 30 years for that to happen. Why can’t I lift this pain for the greatest love of my life, heart of my heart, my reason for being, my son? I don’t want him to have to go through this in his life, not even for a minute.

Tue 5/5– His first day on the mood stabilizer (without the stimulant). Wow what a stupid idea THAT was!!! The phone call from the gym teacher calling to let me know Leon had defaced the gym walls by drawing on them in pen was bad enough. But then Leon came home and his daily progress journal was filled with a 5 page note from his teacher. Granted I asked for the feedback on how the meds were working but I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me when I saw it. Here is the Cliff-notes version (oh and now you will see where my time line idea came from):

9:15am – off to a bad start, climbing up radiator

9:20 – put feet up on teacher’s desk to block children from passing

9:30 – sat in every seat but his own

9:35 – scribbled in assignment book, blacking out the days section, rendering it unusable.

9:40 – kept picking up his supply box and dropping it until it exploded all over. Instead of picking up his supplies when told to, he began rolling around the floor

9:45 – School social worker called in to work with him during math. He managed to stay on task

10:45 – continued to act out once she left, walking around the room, pulling things off the shelf, every time his teacher told him to put them away and continue working, he found something else to do

Snack time was uneventful as he watched a 10 minute movie clip

11:30 – Class began making Mother’s Day gifts as Leon took the pieces a part and put glue all over everything and then refused to finish it.

Then he took the stamper off the teachers desk and began stamping everything – teacher removed the stamp

Then he started banging on the stapler on her desk – she removed the stapler

Then he grabbed her scissors and started snipping at the air – she removed the scissors

Then he walked away from her desk pulling all the papers off and throwing them to the ground

He then climbed the radiator and walked across it and messed up the snapcubes. All the while the teacher was trying to assist the other 25 children who needed help but could not get it because she was too busy taken things away from Leon.

Then he walked around the room touching everyone’s project moving their pieces around.

12:25 – Rec time followed by lunch, in the halls he had to touch everything he passed

Then came gym where we already know he wrote on te walls in pen.

I the hallway he had to be removed from the line and was told to sit on the bench, as soon as the teacher turned around he was standing on the bench

He did well in computer class till it was time to shut down. He protested by running across the room and jumping on the radiators again

He was very argumentative throughout the day and would not stop moving.

To quote the teacher “I don’t think this new medication has any effect on Leon, he is the same as he was in the beginning of school before you started the meds if not worse”

……….That night in speaking with his therapist we learned that the mood stabilizer usually takes 1 to 2 weeks to start working!!!! Oh HAIL NO!! No way is my child going to have to endure this (let alone that poor teacher of his or the rest of the class)

Wed 5/6 – Back on the stimulant, together with the mood stabilizer! He was described as being seemingly calmer from the moment he walked through the door by his teacher. He had a good day working nicely.

Thur 5/7– SPECIAL PERSON”S DAY — Yay, I’m a special person! What a gooood day. Leon picked me, to be his special person of the day. I got to go and sit in his class with him. The children each got to read a special note to each of their persons and got to do an activity with them. It was very cute!!! Leon had a good day!  We all had a good day.

Fri 5/8 – Leon had a toy he wasn’t supposed to have taken away by the principle. Then Leon tried to pull it out of her hands (not a good idea!) But other than that a good day. I was invited back at the end of the day for Mother’s Day Tea in class along with all the other moms it was very nice. I am sad I forgot my camera – they sang some really cute songs!!! Fridays are special to Leon because he gets to have playdates. He and his friend had a blast.

See…. I can recall some good too

Sat 5/9 –  This past weekend was very chaotic, we had lots going on from basement floods to cars not working (both of them) to dealing with Leon acting out. On Sat. Leon and Ron went shopping for my Mother’s Day gift, while on line, Leon became very interested in the trading cards. He repeatedly asked Ron to buy them for him, and Ron repeatedly said no. They had just purchased to new books for him and that was enough. As Leon continued to beg for the cards, Ron advised him that if he asked again the consequence would be having to walk back to the bookstore to return his books. Leon asked again, not once but twice and Ron continued to say no. On the way to the store exit (mall entrance) Ron noticed that Leon had a bulge in his pocket that wasn’t there before. So without accusing him he mentioned it to Leon and explained how wrong it is to steal and if there was something in his pocket that did not belong to him he might want to put it back. Ron wanted to give him the opportunity to correct himself, and believe me he gave him plenty!! When it was clear Leon was not going to put it back, Ron told him that if they left the store and he checked his pockets and found stolen property he would have to punish him by taking away his DSfor a whole month and that if he wanted to, he could go into the next aisle and take care of it before walking out the doors. Ron was sure that would work. You know what they say, “..don’t make any threats you don’t plan on following through on”. What Leon hasn’t quite realized yet is that we are follow-throughers!!! If we say it we will do it, whether we like it or not! And in this case, it’s NOT! Ron instantly regretted saying it and I definitely am not happy he said it… “ALL HAIL THE DS, ALL HAIL THE DS!”. Wouldn’t you know it Leon walked out of the store with a pocketful of stolen trading cards. Ron walked back in and put them on the shelf (although I would have much rather preferred he made Leon return them, but he did what he thought was best), then headed back to the bookstore. The whole walk over Leon did not say one word, until he stepped foot into the store. Boy did he have a major tantrum!!!! Poor Ron said there where 5 people in line in front of him before he got to the counter.  Can you imagine be one of those people, listening to a poor little kid crying and pleading please don’t return my books, I neeeed my books, don’t do it, don’t do it, no, no, no…. thinking just give your kid the damn books already!! In the evening there was some fibbing going on. something that seems to be a growing concern. It was also when the basement got flooded again 9second time in a week) by supposedly fixed broken washing machine. Leon was supposed to be in bed while Ron and I where bailing out the basement. Leon managed to sneak out of bed and watch TV. I didn’t make a big deal out of it, after all I can’t tell you how many times I did that as a kid and really there just wasn’t anymore fight left in me. Then later on we noticed that there weren’t as many cookies left in the container as there were before we went into the basement.” Hmmmmm, I wonder if Leon snucksome cookies”, Ron says. So I go investigate. I lean over Leon’s bad to give him a kiss, and I get a wiff of Chips Ahoy. I said “Ooohsomeone smells like chocolate chips, did you you sneak some cookies?”, “ummmm, yes”, “how come?, “well, because sometimes I just get hungry in the night”, so now I say, “okay, hand them over”, “hand what over?”, “the cookies you are still hiding”, “there aren’t any”, “oh yes there are, hand ’em over”, …he then says,”oh yeah, I forgot” and lifts his pillow up and there they are. crumbs and all -Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhh!

Sun 5/10 – Mother’s Day. What a nice day. Leon crawled into bed with me for a cuddle and to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day and gave me my gifts. I got two  books,  True Mom Confessionsfrom Ron, and a fill in the blank complete with drawings and coupons book from Leon. Both were very entertaining. Additionally I got to spend the day shopping (with Leon) while Ron cleaned the house  – BONUS!! Shopping with Leon went very nicely. Ron gave him a pep talk about it being MY day and to be on his very best behavior! It didn’t hurt that I bribed him. I told him he could earn back the books he had to return. It was very nice. In the evening Ron’s family and mine met for Hibachi dinner at a new place that just opened around the corner. I must say I really love Hibachi! Leon was very restless. He had gotten his books and was up to his usual shenanigans. First he grabbed a fistful of toothpicks from the front. When I took them from him he said “but I need them to trap mice”,  yeah well I really hope there aren’t any mice in the brand new 10 day old restaurant! Next, some how he managed to get a hold of at least half a dozen chopsticks (you would think I don’t watch my own child, but really I do …he’s just really quick). But once he had them I just let him keep himself entertained with them. Yes, I know bad mommy, but it was Mother’s Day and I just didn’t feel like being a drill sergeant for once, I was quite content to let one of the other 11 people handle it. At one point Ron catches him trying to carve his name into the wood railing with a chop stick. If you know where and what to look for you can just make out his name in the scratches on the wood. I just don’t understand what is going on with this kid!!

During the previous week we went to our local SEPTA meeting to see Dr. Yellin speak on ADHD. I liked him and his websitealot! It’s what started me thinking about getting an assesment outside of the school. What I don’t like so much is the price tag ($3650 eeeek). But something has to be done. Things are escalating with him and we don’t know why. I feel there are issues here beyond just ADHD. In addition to seeing Dr. Yellin speak, I have also been in contact with Dr. Petrosky, who was recommended by my MiL’s doctor. He was leading a parent workshop, and MiL offered to pay for one of us to go. I did not want her wasting her money ($150pp)  if it wasn’t going to cover the info we needed, so I made a call to get some more info. Boy am I glad I did. This man was so nice and personable, he took time out of his Saturday to speak with me for over an hour, he went over what he would be covering, he also talked with me about Leon and his situation, he also does psychological assessments as well, and offered to look at what tests Leon had already taken so as to help bring the cost of an assessment down. As far as the workshop he also was kind enough to allow me to bring Ron with me at no extra charge. I really like this guy!

Mon 5/11 – Just another regular ordinary day… if a regular ordinary day includes your son hiding under a seat on the school bus and refusing to get off? Yup just an ordinary day … I went to the bus stop to get Leon and heard a bunch of kids calling out that Leon was refusing to get off the bus and was hiding under his seat. What!!! He did eventually get off and when I asked why he didn’t want to get off the bus he said, “because I want to go on a playdate”. It’s his teacher, calling to let me know that Leon tried to sneak on to a bus other than his own. The teacher in the bus room realized that she did not recognize him and asked him where he was supposed to be. He very convincingly insisted that he was supposed to go home on the bus with his friend Rohit because they had a playdate. He was walked back to his teacher to find out the truth. She said, “absolutely not, he needs to be on his own bus”, so they sent him back he then tried to convince them that we had moved and I forgot to write a note, so he really did need to get on another bus. That’s my smart-ass kid for ya. I told the teacher I would handle it and we said goodnight. As for Leon, since Ron already took away his DS for the month, I was left with just a few options, I grounded him to his room and took away any remaining screen time (comp,TV, other handhelds).

Up to this point things were difficult to say the least. It was hard to see Leon go through all this crap, it was hard to deal with the lying, and to understand why he would steal even after given a chance to rectfy it. It was just one thing piling up on top of another. It was difficult to deal with for sure!!!

Then came Tuesday, the day I started writing this post (today is not Tuesday, it’s Saturday,it’s taken me 4 days to get it all out with all that’s happened). Tuesday was the day my panic attacks started having panic attacks. Tuesday was the day that anything could have happened to my poor child. Tuesday, the day that panic, anger, shock, fear, confusion, bewilderment, stress, and relief hit me all at once.

For my friends out there, who found out what had happened I am sorry that I just could not talk about it anymore. As shocking as it was, it’s not surprising that everyone wants to know what happened and that the response to it would be fierce. But there was no simple way to say it without it leading to more and more questions, and more and more conversation. And the more I talked about it and had to rehash the story the tighter my chest got, the shallower I could breath, the more rushed my words got the sooner I felt dizzy and faint, the more I thought about the what ifs the more intensely my head hurt. To the point that I just could not talk about it anymore. Over the course of the 2 days that followed the firestorm of calls and conversations about it was just too much for me and I finally broke down completely on Thursday. So that is why I am posting it here, fears and tears and all, so I don’t need to retell it over and over again. And it’s okay to comment and ask any questions you want, although it’s taken 4 days to get to the crux of my post, I have found that getting it all out in print is very cathartic. 

Continued on Blogging it out!! (Part 2) – The day the school lost my son


On turning 40…..

This has been A GOOD month, a fun month. So much has gone on, I have so much to tell,




Funny huh? I can't take full credit though, I got the idea from a T-shirt, although that IS my real hand - LOL



 Besides turning 40, my niece turned 1. We had a wonderful Ladybug party for the little Love Bug here at my house.

I got my new computer! WoooHooo! Now I can make this site into more of a photoblog.

I got even more addicted to Facebook and passing “Notes”

I traded in the opportunity to get a new camera for my Big 4-0  for a weekend trip to Disney World on my birthday with my husband and son (sooo worth it – but still working on the camera).

Leon came back from our trip with the flu (we think) and had to miss 3 days of school (Ugh!!! I’ll be in the principle’s office soon enough.)

The monthended with me throwing myself a Narcissist’s 40th Birthday Party which was great fun! (Hey, I deserve to be Queen for a Day – or in this case a week or two or three) And the celebrations just keeps continuing.


I promise, I will go into our fantabulous trip to Disney in detail (and include our tale of woe which covers Leon getting sick) very soon!!! But right now I want to talk about my birthday. It is all about me after all!!!!

I have to say that this has been my bestest birthday ever!!! It even beat out my 25th Birthday which was up until now my bestest birthday ever. Ironically I celebrated that one for about two or three weeks too. My actual DOB falls on 2/21  but I would say I started celebrating it this year on 2/18 when my dear dear husband told me that I could go ahead and book Disney for the weekend if I wanted to use my birthday money towards that rather than towards a new camera. It was a hard decision given that I really, really NEED a new camera and I really, really wanted to go to Disney for my birthday, in the end I realized that I could have my cake and take a picture of it too, but I would just have to wait a bit longer for it to develop 😀 . Plus I am an immediate gratification type of girl (there’s that dang ADHD again). So we went to Disney from 2/20 to 2/22

Without going into too much detail about our trip now, I’ll just say it was nice to plan a trip to Disney that revolved completely around me, me, me! Of course I did consider Ron and Leon in my plans… but still even in doing that it was still about me, after all whatever makes my little one’s heart fill withjoy also fills my heart with joy. The planning fell into place and despite a few bumps while we were in Disney, I could not help but smile and think this is the bestest birthday ever the whole time we were there! And both Leon and Ron did everything in their power to make all three days ALL ABOUT ME (even when my poor little guy got so sick). I believed the hype so much that I even bought myself a little tiara in Disney to wear to my Pajama Party that I had invited the girlfriends who mean the most to me to. I even got caught up in the hype about the pajama party – I think it was at that point, when I bought the tiara that it became a Narcissist’s Birthday Party. Granted I was the one who hyped it in the first place but my friends certainly did help build the hype. As I stated in my previous post, my birthday wish not only included going to Disney World on my birthday but also to spend it with a small gathering of close friends, eating, drinking, and laughing the night away without spending a ton of cash.

My initial intentions of having a just a small get t0gether of 4 or 5 friends grew to about 11 or 12  friends. I realized that I wanted a fun ladies night in with the people who I feel a close or growing friendship with. Woman who have touched my life in a positive way at one point or another. I don’t neccesarily consider myself to have a lot of friends.  It can take a while for me to consider someone truly my friend. What can I say I don’t fall into friendship lightly – plus I kinda think that sometimes I just don’t generally like people 😉 – so for me to consider someone a friend they must be truly a genuine person. So while I may not have many friends, the friends I do have, fill my life with love and laughter and a genuine feeling of friendship and family. I could not think of any better way to celebrate ME and my 40th than with people who help make me who I am.

My close girlfriends are made up from different parts of my life and have all influenced me and become a part of me. I have known my closest and best friend for well over 25 years, we are so close that not only is she my best friend but we have become sisters by choice, she is my family. The only friend that I have known longer and felt just as close to as we’ve grown up together, is my actual sister by birth, whom I feel so close to, that she is not only my sister but also my best friend.  Another long time friendship is with someone I met when I started working for the airlines 20 years ago. We’ve worked together, traveled together, SCUBA dived together, and shared lots of laughs. We get together once a week to play games or watch movies. Then there are “my mommy friends”, a great group of  5 gal pals that came together from different but nearby towns and grew in friendship,  first by way of a mom’s yahoo group and then through the local Mother’s Center, because we all had the same thing in common, we were all first time moms looking to share our experienceswith other women who were going through the same things we ourselves were. We’ve all grown togetheras moms and as women over the last 3 to 4 years. And more recently I’ve been bonding with two women who started out as my neighbors and I am pleased to say have become good friends. I look forward to our friendship continuing to grow as we bond at the school bus stop over stories about one of our nutty neighbors, the PTA, how much the principle rubs us the wrong way, and on occasion a margarita or sangria (not at the bus stop of course). We are The Real Housewives of Blankity-blank Avenue & Blank-blank Dr :P.   …seriously you didn’t think I would give out my real street names. We watch out for each other’s kids and have get togethers for them and for us. And last but not least is someone whose company I have always enjoyed when our husband’s got togetherand we tagged along. I’ve always felt from the start that she is a genuine person and would make for a wonderful friend. Most recently she has come to my rescue more than once when the gremlins would attack. And for that, along with her friendship I am truly grateful. These are the woman who I invited to my Pajama Party on 2/28

My request of each of them was,  NO GIFTS!!!! Just indulge me in the whole Potluck – Pajama – Game Night– Party thing, by bringing a yummy appetizer, wearing pajamas, and be willing to play games. I was sad to see that not everyone could come in the end. The fact that my PMS hit that same day didn’t help when I started counting up all the cancellations. Let’s just say I was a little irrational and there were some hormonal tears and some mutterings about “nobody loves me, no one wants to come to my party” 😥 . But then people started showing up and I got over it. Besides those who could not make it all had very good reasons. I missed them and they missed a good party but I am sure we will make up for it.

We had a BLAST!!! The food was great. We had bacon wrapped scallops, stuffed mushrooms, brie & raspberry wrapped in filo, hummus, bruchetta, potato skins, shrimp and asparagus salad, taco dip, spinach dip and chips, brownies, and let’s not forget the CHOCOLATE FONDUE. Do you know how good Peeps are in fondue????? And then of course there was the Verdi (which I will have to admit I started early) and the Sangria!!!!(which became my drink of choice), regretfully I never did get to have a White Russian. Everyone came in their jamies and I of course wore my tiara with my favorite candy stripe PJ’s.

Me in my candy striped PJ's with Leon

Me in my candy striped PJ's with Leon

We played a game that I had put together called “You’re how old?”. Basically I printed out about 30 pictures of famous celebrities and everyone had to try to figure out if the person was older or younger than me. We also played “The Game of Things”, my new favorite game (although, apparently not everyone elses 🙄 ). I had another game that we were going to play called “How well do you know the Birthday Girl” It was a question and answer game about ME,of course, you know, to fit the Narcissist theme. But I guess I got a bit self-conscious when The Game of Things kinda went south. Don’t get me wrong it was alot of fun and the game did draw a lot of laughs (and snorts – there was lots of snorting!!) but I got the sense that not everyone was into it. I definitely had an awesome time and it definitely added to the fact that this has been my bestest birthday ever.  You know you had a good time when you go to bed giggling out loud to yourself. I am pretty sure everyone else had a pretty good time too. Apparently one of my friends spent the next morning giggling out loud to herself while blow drying her hair. Now that’s a sign of a good time 😆 

I did get gifts after all, although I really, really, did not want anyone to get me anything. The whole point was to have an inexpensive night out. Plus the best gift of all, that any of them could give me is totally free and I already have it from them. That gift is thier friendship! Although I am very thankful for the scanner that a few of the ladies chipped in for, the very nice tart warmer, the wine called “Mommy’s Time Out” (how cute is that!), the gorgeous orchid plant, and the invite for a night out. But I am most thankful for thier friendship.

I celebrated my birthday on the next night too, with my mother and sister. We went to a wonderful Hibachi restaurant called Wasabi. It was fantastic! Luckily the fact that I was starting to get sick did not get in the way of me enjoying the food or the company. Ron and Leon came too, of course and it was fun to watch Leon watching the chef do his thing. We had a really good time. Our family has had it’s ups and downs over the years but in my “old age” I have come to really appreciate them. My mom has been through so much in her life time and has sacrificed so much for my sister and I, I am very lucky to have her – despite our differences. And my sister, well I think we are coming full circle. We’ve always been there for one another and always will be. 

Next Sunday will be the last of my 40th birthday celebrations. We will be going to Ron’s parents house for a fun day of games and a birthday dinner. I look forward to going, we always have fun when his family gets together. I am very blessed to be a part of their family.

In the weeks leading up to my birthday I’ve done a lot of thinking about turning 40. I think everyone does when there is a milestone to celebrate (or for some people, mourn) . There seems to be this fear of turning forty that a lot of people have. I didn’t have that. I thought a lot about my life and where I am, and I am happy just being me. Granted I am not exactly where I thought I wanted to be but I am in a good place. I don’t own my house but I do have a great home, I don’t have 2 or 3 kids but I do have one very amazing son, I don’t have a high paying job that affords us a life of luxury but I do work from home making just enough to help keep up with the bills and still afford a few small extras. I like myself and I like where I am. I couldn’t always say that. I can honestly say that I am much happier now than I was 20 years ago. I have a home and a wonderful family and terrific friends! It’s good to be FORTY! It’s good to be me!

For me, turning forty has been a celebration of me!

My first ever “Newsletter”

Today, I sent out a year end “newsletter”. My first ever. I’ve always liked the idea of newsletters. It’s a really nice way to keep up with what’s been going on in our lives. It’s unfortunate that life has a way of getting in the way of life. And as a result the tendency to lose touch with friends and family is inevitable, at least for a little while. So the newsletter just like this blog is my way of reaching out and touching someone. I wonder who will touch back?

Here’s a copy (with just a few omitions for privacy):


It’s still January so I still have time to wish everyone a Happy New Year!I did not get any Christmas Cards out, but I did manage to get a few New Year’s cards out. For anyone who did not receive one I apologize but either I did not have your address to begin with or I no longer have your address. 2008 was a pretty good year for us, although there were a few pitfalls as usual. This year we won a small (but very helpful) settlement from my car accident back in 2005. We were able to use it towards our debts and still manage to keep some aside to go on a well deserved trip to Disney World for Leon’s 6th Birthday, with the help of the money I am now making in my new position as full time childcare provider for my brand new baby niece. Yup I became an aunt this year, i can’t believe she will be a whole year old next month. I also sit for another cutie patootie about 20 hours a week. I don’t make as much as I’d like, but it helps pay the bills ( and got us to Disney!). We celebrated Ron’s 20th Annual 4th of July BBQ with friends and it was a blast, despite the rain. We are looking forward to this year’s BBQ and hoping for sunny skies. Leon started 1st grade, joined Cub Scouts and started taking Karate. He was having some problems in school in both Kindergarten and 1st grade as well as at home, but fortunately he is doing sooooo much better now after being diagnosed with ADHD and getting the proper treatment. Through testing we got conformation of what we already knew, but I have to boast anyway. He is in the very superior range with an overall IQ of 138 and he reads at a third grade level. Watch out Bill Gates my kid is a ROCK STAR! I was lucky enough to travel back to Germany for the first time in about 5 years, and realized how much I had missed going. I joined a Disney discussion board and made some new friends, I joined Facebook and reconnected with some old friends. Last month I started a photo blog which I intend to keep up regularly. Well, due to technical difficulties it is just a blog right now but as soon as I can start uploading pictures again it will be a photo blog with at least one photo per post. Hopefully you will check it out from time to time and leave me a comment or two.

It was definitely the year of technical difficulties. I almost turned Amish when everything electrical I touched turned to #@$%. My van died a few times this year (electrical problems), my camera was destroyed, and my computer died and was resurrected several times this year (thanks to Laurel) until it’s final dimise on Christmas Eve. Currently I am using a loaner until I can purchase a new one which should be very soon (again with many many many thanks to Laurel who is DA BOMB!). As a result of all my computer woes the worst of the worst of 2008 for me was losing all my files and photos!!! That included most of my addresses and phone numbers for everyone, some files I relyed on for info and about 90% of my digital photos from the last 5 years. YES, I KNOW, I KNOW, I AM AM ASS! I should have backed up my files! We have tried to retrieve them but no luck. It completely and totally breaks my heart!!! So much of Leon’s life was documented through those photos. Plus pics of Ron and I are gone, as well as pics of friends and family. The year ended with our magical vacation in Disney which I plan to fully document on my blog in a trip report, complete with pictures, information links, and one on one interviews with Leon and maybe Ron if he will co-operate, as soon as I get a new computer; a wonderful Christmas with close family at home, and a proposal. My sister said “yes”!

For 2009, I see myself getting a new tricked out computer (fingers crossed), a decent new camera (maybe for my birthday?), and going on at least one trip back to Disney for sure. At least that is my hope. I will have to bide my time and save up however because we also expect to have quite a bit of medical expenses coming our way over the next few months. And I predict that we will NEED to buy one if not two used cars. Both mine and Ron’s cars are on their last legs, err, I mean tires. But I am confident that we should be alright as long as we are careful with our spending. We have finally gotten to where we can actually pay our bills and I plan to keep it that way. I’ve been toying with an idea of maybe makeing some extra cash as a face painter for children’s parties – but for right now it is just a thought in my head. Once I get my new computer up and running I plan to keep my blog interesting with lots of pictures and of course my Walt Disney World Trip Report. I’d like to get into scrapbooking (calm down Heather), I mean digital scrapbooking, and begin making slide shows and home movies. (this is where the tricked out computer comes in). I am turning 40 next month, so I need to find a way of preserving my memories before I lose any more pictures or the rest of my mind!

I have a request, if you have any photos of Leon, Ron, myself, my mom, my dad, my sister, my cat, my mouse when I was 10, my teddybear, my grandma, my grandpa, my in-laws, my cousins, my friends, my whole entire family, my life …you get the picture, could you please send it to me?? Please contribute anything you think I would enjoy. Thanks!!!!

Here’s hoping the end of your 2008 was better than the begining and that this year will be even better than your last.

Send me an email or stop by my blog (yes, I am shamelessly promoting my blog all over this email), let me know how you are doing. And please include your info as well. Like I said, my computer wiped out my address book, so I need addresses, phone numbers, emails, birthdays, websites, blogs, etc…



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