Just call me Jiji

…me, just pretending to be me ….now, where did I put that cape??

Archive for the tag “housework”

Today’s To Do’s

Find Christmas Lights and put them up

Get started on making the house more festive

Make a visible dent in the computer room (desk top and file cabinets)

Blog a bit

Put paperwork in order for Special Ed Meetings

Write note to teacher re: Leon’s checklists

Make returns to stores

Be happy with what I have accomplished today, and start again tomorrow.

 

 

I have so much I need to do. So, so much. So much that I have just been tripping myself up just thinking about it all the time.

This year has not been kind to me (that post is coming soon). It’s as if my life was involved in a 10  car pileup. One thing went wrong, then another, and another, and another, and so on. And detangling it all is a mess in itself. I would get so over whelmed with the enormity of it, that I would feel road-blocked and paralyzed to do anything. I just never knew where to start. Anything that I did start would be dependant on something else getting done first, and getting that done would also depend on another thing happening and so on and so on. I just did not know where to start.  So in the end I mostly ended up doing nothing and the pile-up would just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger and so on. And there I was trapped somewhere in the middle of it all just getting more and more depressed over what a failure I am as a wife and mother and even at taking care of myself.

I’ve always been a list maker, and that has usually worked for me. But this year somewhere along the line I lost my way. I would get stuck on making the list and never actually get to the work truth was the lists wouldn’t be made up of 4 or 5 things to get done it would be 4 or 5 pages of things I still haven’t done. Eventually I just stopped making the lists all together, again because of the enormity of it all. I felt like I was failing at life.

At some point you can either give in and become a hoarder or you have to get a plan to get things done.

I had a plan to get a plan. But I  wasn’t sure what that plan was yet or even where to look.

I finally found one I want to give a go at, in a hot tub, at the base of Hunter Mountain, just a few weeks ago.

I was enjoying a soak in the tub with a few friends and a few drinks during my brother-in-law’s wedding weekend in the Catskills. We got to catch up with friends we hadn’t spent time with in a long time. The wedding was a blast and I walked away from that weekend with a new plan.

Melissa is the one who told me about a book I should look into. I was drunk that night so by morning the details were a bit hazy. But what I pieced together from our conversation was that it had something something something to do with seven somethings or other, in which you decide who you are, and who you want to be, and what you want to accomplish and then you assign a priority or a percentage of your time to it or something like that, …I think?

It went something like, what percentage of who I am is a wife, a mother, a blogger, PTA volunteer, crafter, etc… and then assign a percentage of your time to that part of you and work on a little bit of each part of who I am each day. So like if I am 50% homemaker and 25% crafter and 10% blogger, the time I give to each of those things should be divided accordingly. This way I can start making a dent by freeing myself up a little bit more each day in all the parts of my world that are important to me, including the parts that wants to do more than just clean house and chase after what I haven’t gotten to yet.

I was drunk at the time, so I could have gotten it all wrong but I did get something out of it that makes sense to me. At the time I thought she was referring to this book which I had read about previously (but I never actually read the book itself), and I had already put it on my universal wishlist.  I later learned via a Facebook convo with her that she actually meant this book, which also looks like a good read. I haven’t read either book as of yet, but they are both on my wishlist now and I do plan to read them when the avid reader in me jumps up to a higher priority in my life.

So while I am not following any specific magic formula as of yet on how to get things done, I was inspired by what I had learned from my friend to come up with a plan I could actually follow. For this plan I need to set priorities and assign a specific amount of time in my day to each of these priorities. And just get done what I can in the amount of time I give myself. And I also need to allow myself to be happy with what I have accomplished for the day and not wallow in the muck of what I still have to do, there is always tomorrow.

So, Melissa, if you are reading this, thanks for the info, and the kick in the pants to getting things done.

Now excuse me while I go look for the Christmas lights.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

The truth about housework, sex, and fibromyalgia

I like sex. Most people like sex. Some people like it more than others and some don’t like it at all.

I cannot speak for everyone, but I am pretty sure that the majority of people tend to experience a more frequent and active sex life in their younger years.

As life goes on, it seems as if, frequency, activity levels, and even desire seem to fade.  Some even feel that, it is marriage that does it. I personally don’t think it is marriage that does it, it’s just plain ol’ life that get’s in the way. Too much work, too much stress, not enough time, not enough privacy (kids around), too tired, and for some folks like me, something like illness or disability can get in the way too.

Fibro flares have a number of different triggers. Physical activity and exerting one’s self is one of those triggers. And let’s face it if you are not physically exerting yourself in the bedroom then maybe you aren’t doing it right.

So suffice it to say that my fibromyalgia has the potential to ruin my love life.  In fact for a time it really did. With flare-ups and the exhaustion and pain that come with it, something always has to give. That is just a fact of fibromyalgia.

With fibro too many things get put to the back burner. Projects and activities I want to plan and do rarely get further than being just an idea in my addled brain. The energy to do the everyday things in life, like housecleaning or even personal maintenance has to be sparingly doled out. Too many things get pushed to the side, with the intention of getting to it eventually.

The time, attention, and affection we give to the people we love, should not be one of those things that get pushed aside, or put on the back burner. But because the people we love, know us so well, and are more understanding of our limitations they often bear the brunt of it.

At the beginning of this year Ron and I had a moment to sit back and talk about how much we missed each other. Which would not be so strange if it were not for the fact that we were the first and last person that each of us saw and spoke to each day.  What we missed was the physical attention we gave to one another.

Yes, we were talking about sex, but not just about sex. We also missed the little touches in between. The touch on the shoulder, the arm around the waist, the holding hands, the kisses and the occasional butt squeeze, and yes, the sex that many of those things could eventually lead too. Where did all those things go?

We had plenty of excuses; too stressed, no time, too tired, too busy, no energy, too many body aches, too much to do right now, too much to do tomorrow.

Granted these excuses fit anyone and everyone, fibro or no fibro. But unless you have a trapeze in your bedroom, how many people have to worry that a night of sexual activity might put them out of commission for the following day or two?

And that is without the trapeze in our bed room 😉

Our talk led to the promise we made to each other. Which was to make more of an effort to be more physically attentive with one another on a daily basis. To snuggle on the couch instead of sit at opposite ends of it, to kiss more often, and hold hands when our hands are free. To rest a hand on each other or give a little squeeze when then opportunity presented itself. And yes, to make time for sex, even if it has to be scheduled in.

So we’ve kept our promise. We have made more time for just the two of us. We have a monthly date night scheduled. And we  are a lot more physically attentive to one another, both in and out of the bedroom.

I’ve got to say, life is a lot sweeter and happier in the arms of the person I live and breathe for.

The only downside is that, the energy that goes into the physical activities in the bedroom tends to trigger a fibro flare in me.

And with fibro flares, something always has to give. Fibromyalgia could be riuining my sex/love life. but we REFUSE to let it!

So please excuse my filthy house; but if you had to make a choice between making love or housework, what would you choose? 🙂

…and so what, if I can’t function at 100% the next day or two, at least I have a smile on face,as I am trying to figure out how I am going to catch up with life that is still proceeding on with out me.

TMI????

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: