Just call me Jiji

…me, just pretending to be me ….now, where did I put that cape??

Archive for the tag “sex”

The truth about housework, sex, and fibromyalgia

I like sex. Most people like sex. Some people like it more than others and some don’t like it at all.

I cannot speak for everyone, but I am pretty sure that the majority of people tend to experience a more frequent and active sex life in their younger years.

As life goes on, it seems as if, frequency, activity levels, and even desire seem to fade.  Some even feel that, it is marriage that does it. I personally don’t think it is marriage that does it, it’s just plain ol’ life that get’s in the way. Too much work, too much stress, not enough time, not enough privacy (kids around), too tired, and for some folks like me, something like illness or disability can get in the way too.

Fibro flares have a number of different triggers. Physical activity and exerting one’s self is one of those triggers. And let’s face it if you are not physically exerting yourself in the bedroom then maybe you aren’t doing it right.

So suffice it to say that my fibromyalgia has the potential to ruin my love life.  In fact for a time it really did. With flare-ups and the exhaustion and pain that come with it, something always has to give. That is just a fact of fibromyalgia.

With fibro too many things get put to the back burner. Projects and activities I want to plan and do rarely get further than being just an idea in my addled brain. The energy to do the everyday things in life, like housecleaning or even personal maintenance has to be sparingly doled out. Too many things get pushed to the side, with the intention of getting to it eventually.

The time, attention, and affection we give to the people we love, should not be one of those things that get pushed aside, or put on the back burner. But because the people we love, know us so well, and are more understanding of our limitations they often bear the brunt of it.

At the beginning of this year Ron and I had a moment to sit back and talk about how much we missed each other. Which would not be so strange if it were not for the fact that we were the first and last person that each of us saw and spoke to each day.  What we missed was the physical attention we gave to one another.

Yes, we were talking about sex, but not just about sex. We also missed the little touches in between. The touch on the shoulder, the arm around the waist, the holding hands, the kisses and the occasional butt squeeze, and yes, the sex that many of those things could eventually lead too. Where did all those things go?

We had plenty of excuses; too stressed, no time, too tired, too busy, no energy, too many body aches, too much to do right now, too much to do tomorrow.

Granted these excuses fit anyone and everyone, fibro or no fibro. But unless you have a trapeze in your bedroom, how many people have to worry that a night of sexual activity might put them out of commission for the following day or two?

And that is without the trapeze in our bed room 😉

Our talk led to the promise we made to each other. Which was to make more of an effort to be more physically attentive with one another on a daily basis. To snuggle on the couch instead of sit at opposite ends of it, to kiss more often, and hold hands when our hands are free. To rest a hand on each other or give a little squeeze when then opportunity presented itself. And yes, to make time for sex, even if it has to be scheduled in.

So we’ve kept our promise. We have made more time for just the two of us. We have a monthly date night scheduled. And we  are a lot more physically attentive to one another, both in and out of the bedroom.

I’ve got to say, life is a lot sweeter and happier in the arms of the person I live and breathe for.

The only downside is that, the energy that goes into the physical activities in the bedroom tends to trigger a fibro flare in me.

And with fibro flares, something always has to give. Fibromyalgia could be riuining my sex/love life. but we REFUSE to let it!

So please excuse my filthy house; but if you had to make a choice between making love or housework, what would you choose? 🙂

…and so what, if I can’t function at 100% the next day or two, at least I have a smile on face,as I am trying to figure out how I am going to catch up with life that is still proceeding on with out me.

TMI????

Advertisements

Never Say Never…

On the weekends it can be hard to get Leon to spend time AWAY from his video games, but we try our best. He loves to draw, and will often spend time doing that while watching TV. It tends to add up to more screen time than Ron or I are comfortable with. But when the both of us are busy around the house trying to get things done; it is easier to just let him do his thing rather than have to stop what we are doing to make sure he is entertained and out of trouble 😉 .

This weekend we enjoyed the nice warm spring weather, and did manage to get him outdoors for a couple of hours on Saturday, but nothing engages his ADHD brain out there for more than a few minutes at a time. My guess is that there is just TOO MUCH going on around him that finding focus on just one thing is just not possible.

Sunday was beautiful too, but between my migraine and Ron’s aches and pains; none of us got out of the house. By late afternoon I was asleep in the bedroom with curtains drawn and a pillow on my head to drown out any sound or light. That left Ron to deal with Leon for the better part of the day. He actually managed to get Leon away from the screen machines, letting him know that he needed to find something else to do and it could not involve anything with a screen on it.

Leon was surprisingly compliant about it and grabbed a few books out of his room and began to read. Awesome!

He loves to read and likes all kinds of books; chapter books like Goosebumps, Choose Your Own Adventure Books like Journey Under the Sea, Graphic novels like Max Axiom Science Series, but mostly he like reference books like The Big Book of Knowledge from which he can learn all kinds of new and interesting facts. They are all great books!

After reading for a bit Leon brings in “The Big Book of Knowledge” to Ron; opened to pages 26 and 27

The Big Book of Knowledge – pages 26 & 27

 

He points out the passage pictured below and says “Umm, Dad? Is this True???” 

Ron reads it, and tells him, that yes it is true. To which Leon replies; “Sounds Gross!, I am NEVER going to do that!”

**Tee Hee – this kid cracks me up! **

Never say never kiddo… but do wait until you are at least 18 

…and IN LOVE!

Oh and USE A CONDOM!

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: